


focus on the now

by gaymoregirls



Category: Gilmore Girls
Genre: Chaos, Coming Out, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Gaybies, Lane Kim/Original Female Character, Lane is a chaotic bisexual, Not Canon Compliant, Nothing explicit, Sexual References, Yale - Freeform, dont @ me, gay fluff, gilmore girls - Freeform, idk what else to tag, lane's internal dialogue is everything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-02
Packaged: 2021-03-13 23:34:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,967
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29162010
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gaymoregirls/pseuds/gaymoregirls
Summary: Lane is a chaotic bisexual and we're all here for it
Relationships: Lane Kim & Paris Geller, Paris Geller/Rory Gilmore, Rory Gilmore & Lane Kim
Comments: 1
Kudos: 19





	focus on the now

**Author's Note:**

> I love her a lot and she is bi. that's it. that's my whole speech. hope you enjoy! as always, requests in the comments :-)

Lane POV

I wake up in my underwear, and it takes me a second to remember where I am. When I do remember, the only word running through my head is shit.  
I scramble to my feet, staring at the girl draped across the pale sheets. Her dark hair splays across the pillows, the lines of her body casting shadows across the mattress in the early morning light. I yank on my clothes as fast as I can, tossing the beer cans on the nightstand into the garbage and scribbling a quick note onto the hotel stationary. Last night was… new for me. I’d really love to get to know you better. 473-9981.  
I place the note on her phone, take one last look at her, and race out of the hotel room.  
…  
In my defense, I didn’t mean for all of this to happen.  
I don’t really know how it did happen. I was at an after-party with the band, and Zack and I got into a fight. Something totally stupid, knowing us. I noticed this girl across the room - tall, dark and drop-dead gorgeous. We got to talking, had a few drinks, and somehow ended up in a hotel bed with our hands and mouths in places that the hands and mouths of nineteen-year-old straight virgins did not have any business being.  
Well, except that neither of us was straight.  
Apparently.  
Fuck.  
I pull out my phone and text Rory.  
L: uh… some major shit went down last night. I need you rn. Like, i really need you. Can we meet at Luke’s?  
She responds almost immediately.  
R: sounds intense. I’ll be there in thirty - gotta get there from yale.  
L: Thank you so much.  
I have to book it to get from the city to Stars Hollow, but Iget to Luke’s diner with a minute to spare. Rory is already there, anxiously glancing down at her phone.  
I take a seat across from her. “Hey. Hi. Hello.”  
“Lane, hey.” She smiles, but her expression is serious regardless. “So, from the looks of things you had quite an evening.”  
She’s right. I didn’t brush my hair, there’s a mysterious stain on the sleeve of my shirt, and if I look anything like how I feel, I probably look like a mess.  
“Yeah. Um.” I stare down at the menu, wringing my hands in my lap.  
“Lane, just tell me what’s up.”  
I’m a fucking chicken.  
“I got drunk last night,” I blurt out. “Like, I’m not just talking one or two beers drunk. I’m talking shots, dancing on tables, multiple whiskeys, accidentally starting a fistfight… that kind of drunk.”  
“Did you actually start a fistfight?”  
“No but it sounded cool with all that other stuff.”  
“Holy shit, Lane.”  
“I know, it’s really bad.”  
“You’re totally fucked.”  
“I’m totally hungover.” I pause. “And totally fucked.”  
I decide it’s better for the moment that I don’t mention my one-night stand with a sexy lead guitarist from our music festival. Did I just call her sexy? I mean I did have sex with her - why did I have sex with her? I’m not gay! Or am I? I mean I liked it, but does that mean I’m gay or that I like sex? Am I a slut? Sluts are a social construct Lane, calm the fuck down. Your mom is going to kill you Lane, freak the fuck out. Fuck. Fuck everything. What is wrong with me? Why am I like this?  
“Do you want to crash with me for the night while you get over it?” Rory asks. “I can explain it to your mom.”  
“No, it’s Paris’s birthday. If I stayed over I’d either be keeping you from amazing gay sex or one wall away from amazing gay sex.”  
She laughs. “Fair point.”  
“Besides, I need to face the music. At the very least I have to go to work this afternoon.”  
“Ok. Well, call or text if you need anything - my door is always open.”  
I salute her. “Roger that, Dr. Gilmore.”  
…  
When I get home, I immediately run up to my room to clean myself up. It’s amazing how much a hairbrush and a little bit of concealer can hide about your life. I hear my mom get home from her errands, and head downstairs to greet her and her unnecessary brigade of questions.  
“How was your concert?” she asks, smiling at me.  
“Great. There were a lot of really talented people.”  
“Any drummers give you a run for your money?”  
“A few great ones, but nobody who scared me. There was this one lead guitarist, though - she was Korean, and she was shocking. Never seen someone play like that.”  
I think people should give me a dollar every time I manage to mention this girl without mentioning having seen her - nope. Not going there again.  
“It’s nice to see that you are not the only girl like us who is pursuing a career in music,” she says, starting to unload her bag onto a black side table in the middle of the room.  
“Oh, that reminds me,” I say, “I’ve got a gig with Zach and the guys this weekend, so I’ll be gone Saturday night.”  
“You should really be spending more time with girls your own age, you know. The only girl you spend any time with is Rory Gilmore.”  
“I love Rory.”  
“I know you do, but maybe you should find a Korean girl to be friends with. My friend Suki has this daughter named Ara - she goes to our church. I believe she enjoys music.”  
Shit.  
Ara Lee. The girl I’d obsessively wished to be friends with since I went to her band concert three years back and fell in love with her music. The girl who I always loved to sit next to at church, even when I hated being there. The girl whose band had invited us to last night’s event.  
The girl who bought me my third beer. And my fourth.  
The girl who I slept with.  
“Mama, I have an assignment to finish. May I go upstairs?”  
She nods, and I try not to sprint as I barrel into my room and lock the door behind me. How do I do this? How am I supposed to know if I’m gay? I don’t think I am… but at the same time… this isn’t exactly the first time my stomach has dropped when a girl entered the room. I felt that the first time I saw Paris Geller. And then there was the dream I had about one of my favorite punk rock singers… but I pushed that to the back of my mind so many years ago that it almost feels like it never happened.  
I flop on my bed and twist my favorite ring around my finger. I should text Rory. I really should. I should tell her the truth about what happened.  
But then my phone lights up with a text from an unknown number.  
Hey. It’s Ara.  
Fuck.  
L: Hi.  
A: Hi. Thanks for everything.  
L: It was fun.  
A: I’d really like to see you again. Maybe without beer this time?  
L: Maybe that’s a wiser decision.  
A: Have you ever dated a girl before?  
L: Nope. Barely dated. Still not really sure how gay I am.  
A: Do you think leather jackets and converse are hot?  
L: Duh.  
A: You’re gay. Trust me.  
L: Or maybe that just means I really like you.  
Fuck. I really do like her. I like her a lot.  
A: Well, regardless of how gay you are, no straight person could possibly pull off something like last night.  
I choke on my own spit. Goddamn this girl.  
L: I do like you.  
A: So, when should we meet for coffee?  
L: My mom doesn’t exactly… know about all this.  
A: Duh. Who knows, we might not last. Don’t waste your time yet. Coming out isn’t something that should be rushed.  
L: How did your mom take it?  
A: She didn’t. Doesn’t know.  
L: Have you dated before?  
A: Only once, and it was more of a friends with benefits situation. Only lasted a couple of months.  
L: Ah.  
A: You never answered my question. When should we meet up?  
L: Wednesday after school? Luke’s? I know a great park area out by my friend Rory’s house where we could hang after - no eyes on us there. Stars Hollow is not a town where you can keep a secret.  
A: Oh, I know. Trust me. So Wednesday at 4?  
L: Can’t wait.  
A: Yay :-)  
L: :-)  
…  
The next morning, I knock on Rory’s door at Yale. Paris answers - she’s drowning in a giant blue bath robe that is clearly several sizes too big for her.  
“Lane!” She grins. “Rory’s in the shower, but you can come in and wait for her.”  
I nod, sitting on the couch and tracing the lines in my palms.  
“Are you alright?” Paris asks. “You seem stressed.”  
I try to muster a smile from under my fear. “Totally fine. Oh, and happy twentieth, by the way! You don’t look a day over nineteen.”  
She laughs. “Technically, I am only one day over nineteen. But thank you.”  
At that moment, Rory emerges, her damp hair completely soaking the back of her yale sweatshirt. “Hey, Lane! Nice surprise.”  
“I actually need to talk to you.” I glance at Paris. “Hey, could Rory and I have a minute?”  
“Of course.” She kisses Rory on the way back into their room. “See you in class, babe.”  
“Love you.” Rory sits down next to me on the couch. “Talk to me. I’m guessing there’s something you didn’t tell me about the gig the other night. Did you and Zack break up?”  
“Not… not exactly.” I sigh. “But we should have.”  
“What does that mean?”  
“I slept with someone, Rory.” Once I start talking, the words won’t stop coming. I pull a whole speech out of my ass. “I slept with someone, and that someone wasn’t Zack. That someone was someone who I should not have slept with, and someone who I’m not even sure I wanted to sleep with, but now it’s done and I’m going out with them in two days and I don’t know what to do or how to handle my own emotions and everything is just kind of shit.”  
She blinks. “So you slept with a girl, then?”  
“How the fuck… you know what, nevermind. Gaydar.”  
“You did sleep with a girl.” She grins. “Lane, yay!”  
“Yay other than the fact that I can’t tell my mom, because one, girl, two, sex before marriage, three, no contraceptive, four, beer and five, did I mention the sex already?”  
“It’s going to be ok,” she says, putting a hand on top of mine. “Paris coming out wasn’t exactly a walk in the park either.”  
“Yeah, I know. Maybe I should talk to her.”  
“Maybe,” Rory smiles. “In the meantime, try a date or two with this girl. And maybe try to keep it in your pants this time around?”  
“Listen, it was her who bought me the drink-”  
“Lane got laid?” Paris emerges from the bedroom wearing a button down and black jeans. “Now this is a story I’ve got to hear.”  
“It’s not much of a story.”  
“I’m sure that’s not true.”  
As I relay the previous night’s events to my two favorite girls, I can’t help but feel a strange sense of relief wash over me. This is going to be messy. There’s no telling how long it will take me to figure all this shit out. But I’ve got Rory. I’ve got a date. I’ve got time. I don’t need to know everything. I guess I just need to focus on the now.


End file.
